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Ron the Man/Transcript
Urgh! Be ready to move on my signal. Shego, wait up! Oh! Victory is mine! Professor Dementor? Dr. Drakken. Hello. What brings you here? I plan to steal the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer with which I will wreak much havoc. This Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer? You can't steal it! I want to steal it! Too bad. Come, my loyal henchmen! To the sky! I really wanted that Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. Hm! Alright, listen up. I regret to inform you that Ms. Jenkins made a mistake many first-year teachers make. She ate the cafeteria meatloaf. Now, until she's out of intensive care, I'll be covering her class. So, let's begin with a pop quiz. Er, Mr. Barkin, we were supposed to present our personal history projects today. Personal history project? It's great. We each did a project that explores who we are. There was only one rule, have fun! Have fun? No wonder the meatloaf got her. She's weak. Alright, bring on the projects. We all know Ron Stoppable is the man, but can we prove it? I believe we can with this collage. Collage? That's a French word, isn't it? Points off for that. It's all here, Mr. B. From birth to Bar Mitzvah and beyond. I'm not so sure about this. Don't feel bad. Many people are unfamiliar with Jewish traditions. The Bar Mitzvah occurs when a boy is 13 years old. It's ferociously cool. You go to temple; you read from the Torah and boom, you're a man. My rabbi even printed out a signed souvenir certificate which he signed. Correction. Which he did not sign. No way! Rabbi Katz definitely... did not sign it. Some would say that you're reading from the Torah before the assembled, that's what's important. Yeah? You think so? I said some, not me! I'm a stickler for detail. You got a certificate here you parading around that's not signed. Oh, no. I can't believe it. I've been living a lie all these years. Oh, Ronnie, you have not living a lie. Have so! Aw, aw, aw! If it makes you feel better, drop by temple tomorrow and get Rabbi Katz to sign it. Well, no, honey it'll have to wait till next week. Rabbi Katz is at that rabbinical conference in Vegas, remember? Oh, right. Oh! So I've got to wait a whole another week to be a man? That stuff is not what makes you a man. It's the only proof I've got. What's important now is what kind of man are you. I don't know. Rufus, what do you think? Inadequate. It's the only word for it. Let's review, shall we? Grrrrr! Ugh! Ugh, ugh, ugh! I stand corrected. It's not only inadequate, it is embarrassing. So, do what Professor Dementor does? And what is that? Visit Jack Hench. Grrrrrr! Oh, please. Every villain on the planet uses Hench. Not me. I paddle my own canoe, thank you very much. Pfft! You're just too cheap. The man's prices are outrageous. Alright, alright, I'll infiltrate his research facility and, you know, maybe I can find some free samples. Please, Hench never gives free anything. He... Oh, you mean stealing, don't you? Doy! Very good then. Steal something wonderful. Oh, hey, sorry, Mr. B. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your current funk. Actually, I'm on to a new funk. My dad said the question isn't am I a man, it's what kind of man. And I gotta tell you, I'm just not sure. It's easy. You're small and weak. Excuse me? Stoppable, the ideal man is big and or strong. You are neither. I get by. You get rescued by a girl. Sometimes. Frequently. Been looking everywhere for you, Ron. Hey, Mr. Barkin. Possible. Kim, how often would you say you rescue me? Er, I don't know. Sometimes? Hm, frequently? Frequently? OK, Wade, we're here. What's the sitch? We got a hit on the site from a Jack Hench. Who? This guy is a total mystery. Nobody knows what he does, whatever it is he makes some serious cash. Wait till you see his private jet. Why, you must be Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable. I'll let Mr. Hench know you're he Please, please, take a seat. Thanks. Hench Co., hold, please. I don't like this. Me either. These questions they're asking. Manliness quiz? Ha! I meant the whole Hench Co. vibe. I'm sorry, sir, Mr. Hench is booked solid all morning. Can he ring you back? Super. Excuse me, could you please get bottled water? You bet. Senor Senior Senior? Professor Dementor? This guy Hench deals with every villain bent on global conquest. OK, my manly score could not be that low. Kim, check my math. Aargh! Come on. Aargh! How we doing? Been better. People, people. Miss Possible is my guest. That's a good call, fellas, cos, you know, I was primed to make my move! The hero and the sidekick. Classic. So, this was a trap? Not at all. According to your website, you help people, and, Miss Possible, I need help. You're showing us a ring. It's no ordinary ring, Ron. It operates on a molecular level right? You are a smart one. That's exactly right. This is my molecular muscle enhancer. Hey! That rocks That's what I said when those crazy kids down in research and development came up with it. Instant muscles. Exactly. Does it get any better? I don't think so. Then that jerk Drakken had to send in Shego. Drakken? Shego? She stole the whole batch, except for this one. And we should care about this why? Miss Possible... Er, Kim... Miss Possible. OK, fine. Anyway, you fight a lot of villain, right? Yeah. And they usually have henchmen, right? Er, yeah. Where do you think the name came from? Here at Hench Co, we're building a better henchman I'd like to think that we're performing a service for the community. The evil community. Sure, this guy runs a shady business, but, I mean, come on, that technology in Drakken's hands? Good point. OK, we're on it. Great! And this will be crucial to our investigation. Oh, great, you're home. I've been wanting to talk to you about your crisis. The crisis? Oh, oh, no, that's over. Really? That fast? Let's just say I found an instant solution. Oh, really? But I worked up some real good advice about manhood. Really? That's cool. Um, hey, you give Rufus the down-ow. He'll brief me later. Er... OK. Uh-huh. Ready? That's easy. You're small and weak. Not for long. Molecular muscle enhancement. I love it! Ha-ha-ha! Now you are manly men, we will steal the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer which was ours to steal in the first place! Shego, have you located Professor Dementor's latest lair? Yeah, but it looks like nobody's home. Argh, revenge was to be mine, but now Professor Dementor has vanished without a trace. Oh, cruel fate! Maybe I should call him. I've got him on speed dial. Hello. Where are you hiding, you cursed….? I can't take your call right now. Uh, the machine. I've taken my entire staff and my newly-acquired Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer! And we're off to Las Vegas. Leave a message at the tone. Dah! He's so brazen. Awesome! Look at his biceps! Man, can't see past my pecks. Ah, well. Ron, what happened? Molecular muscle enhancer. See, I never woulda guessed that. Take it off, Ron. No way! I finally feel like a man! Muscles do not make a man. Uh-uh. You gotta dig deeper than that. Way deeper. Stoppable? Yo, Brick. You seem... different. It's just me, you know, hanging. Being manly. Cool. Yeah, it is. Ho’s the man? OK, since when do you care what those other guys think? Since just now when they accepted me. Ron, look...Hey, Wade. Guess who decided to try out the molecular muscle enhancer? Ron. How did you know? The enhancer gives off a weird energy signature. Oh, yeah! ...Hey, Kim, what's an energy signature? Ron, you are here. Hey, you're the dot. The manly dot. So Wade, if you scan for a bunch green dots... We'll find out where Drakken is. Already did it. He's in Vegas. He's where? At the Las Vegas, Las Vegas resort. The manly resort. Ugh! Las Vegas, the place where vengeance will be mine. I spotted Professor Dementor and his boys. Poised to threaten the free world with the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer? Er, no, actually, they're chilling by the pool. How does he find time to relax? How does he get to have it all? rrrrr! Ah, stupid gate. Er, sir, the pool area is for hotel guests only. You need a room key. Aaarrgh, fine! We'll check into the hotel, then we will steal the stolen Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer and then vengeance will finally be mine! Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, paly what can I do you for? Yes... Jilly from Jersey. Hm. I need a room. Sorry, baby, but we are booked with the cuckoo conventions. Fine. Whatever. Just hand over a key so I can get into the pool. Easy, clyde. The swim is for registered cats only. That's what I'm trying to do, you annoying little poser! Er, get the hands off the suit, creep. You're... Di... I'm... Ch... Shego! Welcome to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, chicky baby. Yeah, hi. Have you seen this guy A-ring-a-ding-ding. OK, Rufus, you slip through and unlock the gate from the inside. Check! Kim, I could just bend the bars. Save it for the circus, Ron. Ta-da! Drakken. And look, more instant muscle men. Huh? Aaaaaaarrrgh! Hm. Looking for... this, hm? The Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. The Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer? What do the rings have to do with the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer? Eh. Oh, oh. Oh! Use the power of the rings! Get that Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer! Kim and Ohh! Comb this place from penthouse to pavement. Sure. I'll take the buffet. Nice try. I'll take the buffet. Wade, what have you got on Professor Dementor? OK, several days ago, he stole a Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer from a research facility in the Rocky Mountains. Why am I just finding out about this now? Um, Local, federal and international law enforcement are on the case. They thought they didn't need you. Well, I guess they thought wrong. Come on, Ron. Let's move. Way ahead of you, KP. I'll check in here. My bad. Heh-heh-heh! Excuse us. Guess I don't know my own strength. Ron, look! Professor Dementor. Drakken! It's Kim Possible! Get her! Aaaaarrrgh! Yaaaaaah! Hey, oh! Aaaaaaarrrgh!! Rabbi Katz? Ronald? Ronald Stoppable? Yeah. What are you doing here? It's a rabbinical conference. Ronald, have you been working out or something? Nice, huh? By the way, did you know you forgot sign my Bar Mitzvah certificate. Really? Certainly I'll sign it as soon as get back to Middleton. No, no, it's not necessary. I would have to agree. The Bar Mitzvah ceremony itself is what counts, Ronald. What counts is this. What, your muscles? Let's face it. If I got any more manly, the world couldn't handle me. Ronald, I think you're confused. Grrrrrr! Better lay low, Rabbi K. I gotta take care of business, Ron style. Hey, you! What's next, boys? Should we hit the buffet or take in a show? Hand over the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. Never!! Have it your way. My henchmen aren't afraid to play rough. Drakken, you are always entertaining. Get him!! It's six against two. How many can you take? Put me down for... none. Oh, good. Ron, are you in there? Yo. Aagh! Ron, I gotta go. Can you and your muscles handle things down here? Yo. Ha-ha-ha! Give it to me! No! It's mine! No!! I'd say finders keepers applies here. Sounds fair to me. Thank you, Kimberley. What's that beeping? It's been activated. Is that a bad thing? Kim and Ugh! Don't you have any idea what the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer does? Something very dangerous, I'm sure, or else it wouldn't be top secret. How dangerous? The vortex it creates will be a contained disruption in the very fabric of reality!! States? Time? Energy? All will be twisted in a vortex of pure chaos! Let's get out of here! Did I mention that vortex will be the size of the state of Nevada? Oh, we're in Nevada! How ironic. Kim and Ugh! Move and I can get it. I'll get it. It's gonna fall any second. No duh! Easy does it, ladies. Ron, We can't mess around here. That thing's gonna wipe out the entire state of Nevada. Sounds like this is man's work. Aargh! Uh-oh. So, he is as dumb as he looks. Stoppable, the ideal man is big and or strong. Yeah, big and strong. This is not a problem for the new me. But Ronald, there was nothing wrong with the old you. OK, Rabbi, get out of my head. Ron, he's right. These instant muscles have got to go. It's not the real you. So many voices in my head! Ron, we're talking to you through a ventilation shaft. Ronald, the measure of a man is not about biceps or pecks. How about rock-hard abs? What he's saying is, take off the ring! Not till I save the day! It's gonna fall! You've got to take off the ring! I can't do it! Yes, you can. No, I really can't. Thanks, buddy. Ooh! Hm. Argh! This beeping is so irritated. I shut it off! Is that OK? Ha-ha! Peachy. Grrrrrrr! There you go, Ronald. Now it's official. My little boy is a man. Again. Congratulations. Boo-yah! Category:Transcripts